The Shattered State of Fragile Minds new
by hitdapanicbutton
Summary: The war has ended. That's what everyone thinks. But no, it has not. It was only just the beginning.
1. prologue

I've been meaning to post the rewrite of this story up for a long time but writer's block and that thing called life kept on barging in on my plans. I deeply appreciate all those who have read and liked the previous version of my story; I've kept all the comments safely in my laptop, email draft and pen-drive! Yeshhh, cautious and a good reason to be: my computer crashed so many times, losing all computer data and fan-fiction I've written (trust me when I say I feel absolute devastated when I had to do the reformatting function. The horror~) Anyway, without further ado (because I could go on till it will eventually become longer than this chapter and that is a no-no), here's my prologue of my first original story. hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it ;D

**disclaimer:** Tite Kubo is god.

**p/s** this is a hitsukarin and ichiruki endorsed fix. you've been warned.

**p/s/s** this chapter is set up just after espada no.6 Grimmjaw and his cronies decided to make a brief rebellion at Karakura Town while ignoring the scene where Kuchiki Byakuya and Zaraki Kenpachi came to Karakura for the withdrawal of Hitsugaya's team. (chapter- woopsie, _can't remember_/episode 117-128)

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><p><strong>Prologue.<strong>

It was unmistakable. As Kurosaki Karin sat in the chilly drizzle, a battle was taking place halfway across town. The strength of both the reiatsu was penetrating despite the distance causing the raised bumps on Karin's skin. One of the reiatsu was familiar to her. Her head remained hidden under a black hoodie with her eyes trained on the two flashes of light which have been flying here and there for the past hour, colliding with each other every few seconds. Amazingly, as far as what Karin could see, there were no sign of damage on the buildings surrounding their battlefield, the sound of swords clashing echoed no more than just a bare whisper.

However, she could feel that both the opponents were starting to feel weary, the strength of their reiatsu diminishing little by little but her confidence was nevertheless assured. There was no question about who will win.

'_Ichi-nii would and always does_.'

But Karin couldn't help but recollect how aloof her brother always acted, running off with Rukia-chan without a plausible explanation and when he thought no one was looking, the worried look in his eyes. She shaked her head and laughed to herself. '_Stupid Ichi-nii. With his hunched shoulders and out of loop attitude these days, who wouldn't? I just wish he would share his burden with me. That I could tell him that he is not alone in this_.'

With another sigh, her mind began to unconsciously wonder about the mysterious, white hair elementary-school boy she met a couple of weeks before. She had pestered him to join her team for a soccer match with a group of stuck-up unruly teenagers and he had not only joined the team, but helped them score all those winning points. To her astonishment, he turned out to be a shinigami.

A very cute shinigami.

Karin felt her face flushing over this assessment. Boys her age are either immature, hate girls or just plain stupid. Most of the time, it's all three but he was different. He had that self-assurance, determination and that otherworldly air about him that intrigues her. What really struck her about him the most was that he can make the difference, that he has the ability and power to stand by her brother at the frontline fighting the horrible monsters called hollows. The only thing she could do is sit there, incapable of doing anything but aim and kick a soccer ball while praying that it will give the hollows substantial damage, if at all.

It does not help that Karin could feel that each hollow was more powerful than the last and she feared that it would reach to the point where even her brother won't be enough.

'_I want to be a shinigami_.'

Her eyes opened wide with this realization but she couldn't contemplate her newfound desire any further because a split second later, the flashes of light had a head-on collision that resulted with an explosion. The wind blew outwards causing the windows to rattle noisily, the trees flapping their branches in helplessness and somewhere in the near distance, a billboard hitting the ground with a loud thud. Murmurings of car alarms were heard from a now awaken neighborhood that was the epicenter of the explosion. She started to shiver slightly as the drizzle seemed to get heavier; the tiny yet sharp rain stung her skin. Another second later, the downpour seemed to resumed to its former gentle sprinkle. There was only silence and the distinctive smell of death.

Karin searched the landscape; desperate to know what was outcome of the battle, anxious to know that her brother was all right. But she couldn't see or feel anything, due to the fact that there was no moon in the starless sky and now there were no bright bursts of lights to help guide the way. The only thing she could see are the faint city lights. In desperateness, Karin closed her eyes but there were barely any perceptible traces of reiatsu lingering in the air. They were just too far away.

'_I could try the ribbons! They usually work_.'

She was positioning her hands to push herself up when she was jolted by a sudden sound from behind her. Startled and legs numb from the coldness, she lost her balance and slipped onto the wet ceramic tiles that clanked under the sudden shift of gravity of her weight. Next thing Karin knew, a rather small yet masculine hand with surprising strength grabbed hold of her and her breathe escaped her as she came eye to eye into the most stunning set of aquamarine eyes she has ever seen.

'_Those eyes_.'

Karin could feel his breath down her chin till her neck as well as the warmth from his body and was unable to break contact with those dazzling eyes. She had no idea how long she stood there, stunned into inaction. The sound of the roof tile breaking at the pavement below jolted her senses back into reality. She slapped his hand off and asked, her tone a little sharper than she intended. "What are you doing here?"

An eyebrow raised and arms folded, Hitsugaya Toshiro's tone was monotonous. "Luckily it is only me and not some arrancar or worse, an espada. Why are you still awake at 5 o'clock in the morning anyway?"

"I couldn't sleep while knowing that my brother is risking his life fighting that hollow. This one felt more powerful than usual. What did you called it? An arrancar? Espada?"

Hitsugaya nodded his head in answer without any explanation. Karin felt a little annoyed; should she press for more information? Judging from what little she knows of his character, '_He doesn't look like he would just give it to me if I ask. Maybe he is not supposed to. Not to a mere human, anyway_.'

She sighed. '_This is frustrating_.'

Then remembering about her brother, Karin asked softly, "How is he?"

Hitsugaya's eyes automatically flickered to the scene of the battle. He appeared to be choosing his words carefully and it agitated her. Her fingers began to play with her hoodie's zip nervously.

"Kurosaki… he...sustained some substantial injuries but nothing Inoue Orihime can't heal."

Inside, Karin's mind made the connection. She had noticed that Orihime's reiatsu seemed stronger but she never did think to put two on two together. '_She's in this shinigami business? That means Sado is involved too._'

The zip was left unattended now and Hitsugaya's apologetic smile calmed Karin's nerves considerably. "Thank god, then."

She chuckled and smile back then proceeded to take a seat on the ceramic roof again. Hitsugaya raised his eyebrow at this action. "Aren't you supposed to be going off to sleep now?"

"What am I? Three?" Karin shook her head with a chuckle. "Sit with me, Toshiro."

Despite his displeasure, Hitsugaya do as he was told and sat down beside her, which prompted Karin to pat his head and cooed, "Now who's a good boy."

Hitsugaya immediately stood up, "I am not a boy! Nor am I…"

"…an elementary student." Karin finished his sentence. "Yeah, I heard you the first time, shouting so loud till my ears felt like it was about to burst. I really thought it did."

She laughed and peered up at Hitsugaya and saw that annoyance written all over his face. Immediately, she felt guilty but she couldn't stop the giggling. "Look, I'm sorry Toshiro but the chance was just too good to pass. I won't do it again. Promise."

This visibly cooled Hitsugaya down and he immediately resumed to sitting down again.

It was nice. The way the cooling morning dew and fresh air felt on her skin and how peaceful the normally bustling Karakura Town was; it was as if the battle hadn't taken place at all. A slow glowing pink light had began to creep across the deep purple sky and by the looks of the morning, it looked to be a promising day. Karin felt a rare sense of tranquility and appreciation towards Orihime and Sado for fighting side by side next to her brother.

'_Ichi-nii probably would be a no-show once again but at least I know that he's somewhere safe now_.'

Then Karin turned to face Hitsugaya, mouth ready for conversation when her thoughts abruptly came to a standstill. She has only known the shinigami for a short period of time but she had a feeling that Hitsugaya smiling was a rare sight to be seen. He was gazing at the now bright orange, pink and purple sky thoughtfully without the usual frown plastered on his face and without a care in the world. He looked like an ordinary kid. For the first time, she could see that he was a boy hiding under a tough exterior to masked his insecurity over problems too big to be burdened on his youthful shoulders.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

In a daze, Hitsugaya turned to look at her and blinked in reply. Karin can't help but smile. "The sky, I mean."

"Oh." Clearing his throat, he pronounced a clear "Yes."

"I remembered what you said the other time by the railing." A look of sadness swept upon the boy's face but Karin was determined to make him smile. Clearing her throat in her best low, husky tone, "It brings back memories."

Hitsugaya looked appalled, "Is that supposed to be me?"

But Karin ignored him and continued, "I don't know what dusk reminds you off but I've always prefer dawn. As in dawn of a new day, a new start at life with promises of possibilities. Dusk is more of an ending. Hmm…No, there's a better word for it."

She mulled over it for about a minute then a grin lighted up her face, "That's it. I've got the perfect word."

Karin looked over to Hitsugaya, annoyed that he didn't seem to share her enthusiasm or bother to participate in the conversation. "Don't you want to know what my perfect word for dusk is?"

"I've got the feeling it wouldn't matter anyway."

"Closure." Karin pronounced the word as dramatically as she could. "What do you think?"

Hitsugaya said nothing. Even though his eyes were trained towards the sky, Karin caught a rather sad contemplative look in them. '_Shit, did I touch a raw nerve?_'

It was an awkward long minute.

'_Maybe I should leave him alone_.'

"It's getting late," Karin pushed herself up and Hitsugaya broke away from the view and gaze up at her. Her mind raced for an explanation. "I think I should get back inside before anyone sees me."

She walked to the corner of the roof and was positioning herself to climb back down to her room's window when Hitsugaya stopped her with a "Hey."

Karin paused and looked at him expectantly. He studied her with a mixture of curiosity and puzzlement, causing her to feel self conscious. "Yeah?"

"Your word fits it perfectly," Hitsugaya smirked.

"I know," Karin beamed. Hitsugaya watched her climbed down towards the window sill and opened the window as silently as she could. With a wink and a wave, she softly called, "Goodnight Toshiro."

"Goodnight…" Hitsugaya hesitated but Karin was already out of sight. Hitsugaya shunpoed without another thought.

.

.

_What I didn't realize at the time that I would only see her six years later, under completely different circumstances. I didn't even know her name._

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><p><strong>ps<strong> Chapter one coming out in ** 7 **days aka **Tuesday, 26 July 2011**.


	2. chapter one

**p/s** this story is set up till Aizen's sentencing by the members of chamber 46 but with Ichigo's shinigami power still intact. The EXECUTION arc did not happen in this re-imagination.

**disclaimer:** Tite Kubo is god.

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><p><strong>one  fast forward. rewind.**

The feeling was intoxicating. How the cold wind swept upon him, forming spots in his skin from the chill and the light fluttering of his hair. How weightless his body felt, like a feather floating mindlessly in the air. He felt nothing but serenity, not a care in the world yet at the same time felt that he could do anything he set his mind to. Hitsugaya Toshiro loved the feeling of freedom that shunpo offered.

How ironic then, that as he jumped from roof to roof, his feet barely touching the terracotta tiles, that his heart filled with heaviness as he made his way around the familiar town of Karakura. Six years have been a long time, Karakura's inhabitants have aged half a decade older and there are several new buildings adoring its landscape yet everything about the town remained the same. All the while blissfully unaware of the year-long Winter War that ended with the sentencing of Aizen Sosuke's imprisonment for twenty thousands years.

'_If I had my way, I would sentenced him to be locked for an eternity instead_'

Hitsugaya landed on the edge of the local high school's rooftop and surveyed his surroundings. It was the same as every other night, peaceful and not a hollow in sight. A little too peaceful. He looked to his left in the corner of his eye expectantly and a voluptuous blonde shinigami appeared.

"Taicho." The red head sang playfully.

"Matsumoto." Hitsugaya made a passing nod and returned to supervising the horizon.

"Negative hollow sightings today, taicho and I've received confirmation on this from substitute shinigami Kurosaki Ichigo and thirteen division's Kuchiki Rukia." A beep was heard. Matsumoto Rangiku flipped open the soul pager and cheerfully added, "Soul Society has just verified this information as well."

The frown on Hitsugaya's face grew more visible."This marks nine days of ground level investigation and twenty-nine days without a hollow entering area 3600."

"Do you want me to ask for an extension, taicho?"

He contemplated the next course of action while absentmindedly staring at the moon. "There would be no need for it. We will leave for Soul Society at 1200hours tomorrow as planned." Hitsugaya said with finality. "That is all. You're free from tonight's duty, Matsumoto. Get some rest."

"Finally!" Matsumoto mumbled with such delighted relief that Hitsugaya expected her to shunpo back to Inoue Orihime's house instantly and was surprised when his fukutaicho remained as she was. Hitsugaya broke his gaze from the moon and turned to face his subordinate. He did not missed the passing look of concern in her eyes. "Yes, Matsumoto?"

Matsumoto grinned a little more enthusiastically than normal. "Want to grab a bottle of sake with me, taicho? It's a perfect companion for a cool night like this."

Hitsugaya eyed his fukutaicho with disbelief. "After all these years? No, I will have to pass. There's something I have to do. Goodnight Matsumoto."

"Goodnight taicho." Then Matsumoto teased lightheartedly. "Don't stay up too late though. Children your age shouldn't stay up after dark!"

"Oi!" A vein popped on his forehead with Hitsugaya ready to give his playful fukutaicho a earful but she had shunpoed off to safety, leaving traces of her giggling in her wake. Hitsugaya sulked for a second then shake his head with a sigh.

'_That woman is too mischievous for _my_ own good_.'

Furrowing his brows, Hitsugaya folded his arms. '_What are we going to do? Twenty nine days with no information and no hollow. The soutaicho will not be pleased_.'

He looked upwards towards the atmosphere and saw that purple was spreading into the night sky, much like watercolor diluting clear water. It could be only one thing: the start of dawn. His mind flashed back to a single memorable scene that took place six years ago, at a time much like now with the weather a little more damp and cooler.

'_As in dawn of a new day, a new start at life with promises of possibilities_.'

Ichigo, Rukia as well as both eleven division's Madarame Ikaku and Ayasegawa Yumichika had taken on the four arrancar that had entered Karakura in a fit of rebellion against Aizen. As an extra precaution, Hitsugaya and Matsumoto had decided to patrol around town separately to make sure that there were no errant arrancar who had chanced upon any unsuspecting humans when he spotted a tiny figure sitting atop the roof. Cautiously, he shunpoed to the figure as quietly as possible while accessing the situation. '_Substantial reiatsu but not enough to attract any interest. But why does this reiatsu feels familiar?_'

In a beat of a second, he noticed the building of said roof: the Kurosaki clinic; Ichigo's house. He instantly remembered her face, the football match between her elementary friends and a group of unruly middle schoolers and the surprise he felt when he found her to be the shinigami representative's younger sister. He had his suspicions at her having the ability to sense and see hollows but it was amazing that she was even able to see him in his shinigami form.

Hitsugaya stood there for twenty minutes and even after Ichigo- who was then the only one still battling the arrancar- defeated said arrancar that she was still not aware of his presence. It was only by the sound of his foot deliberately stepping on the roof that caused her to notice him at all. Her reaction was hilarious. He had barely manage to keep his composure when he found himself staring into her eyes. It was the first time he noticed that her eyes were not just black but a satin midnight black, looking vulnerably back at him. It awoke a primal instinct inside him, like he must do whatever it takes to make sure nothing harms her. A slap on his hand jolted him back to reality. That feeling of instinct was gone as briefly as it appeared. He eyed her with a mask of indifference while studying the determined girl in front of him. '_She is a Kurosaki. If she is her brother's sister, she has no use for a knight in shining armor_.'

She proceeded to stubbornly sit back down on the roof and made fun of him, all this classic Ichigo. '_Is this the Kurosaki's family trait?_'

Then her cheerful voice stated."I remembered what you said the other time by the railing."

The inevitable association with sunsets caused Hinamori Momo's face to flood his mind. He used to looked up during the evening's play of red and yellow sky and reminisce about their happy childhood together. But now it served nothing but to remind him of the painful events with an Aizen-manipulated Hinamori turning her back against all the time they spent together and fought him with the intention to kill. Hinamori's look of rage haunted him to that very day. He couldn't forgive himself.

Hitsugaya had tried to maintain his cool, acting completely disinterested in participating in Ichigo's sister conversation. Still she persisted. "Don't you want to know what my perfect word for dusk is?"

Then she uttered a syllable that he would never forget.

"Closure."

Her word resonated in him. It was a single, simple word yet it felt like an answer to him. Hitsugaya looked at her with a renewed perspective. Unbeknown to her, her word had became his motto: every time he began to think back about Hinamori, he would think of her word instead and snap out of it. It took many agonizing months but eventually he was able to look at Hinamori without a hint of regret. She had helped to heal him of his wounded pride and emotional scars.

Yet he hadn't known her name.

'_I know her name now_.' Hitsugaya stared after the now pinkish sky.

Immediately after that fateful encounter, Hitsugaya had meet up with Matsumoto with a negative for any errant arrancar and news of the recent battle when his good-humored fukutaicho commented with considerable shock, "Taicho, you're smiling."

He ignored her and proceeded to ask in what he hoped to be in a subtle manner. "What… what do you know about…" Hitsugaya cleared his throat nervously when he saw Matsumoto giving some sort of a weird expression, "Kurosaki Ichigo's sister?"

She cracked a huge smile. '_Damn. I knew I should have think about the question before I asked Matsumoto about it!_'

"Hohohoho! I was right, wasn't I? Taicho does _like_ her!" She emphasized 'like' as much and as slowly as possible while in that high pitched voice of hers.

"Shut up."

"No need to be shy, taicho. You can ask me _anything_."

"I'd rather be buried in paperwork instead."

Matsumoto paid no attention to him and instead, proceeded to sing with all her might. "Taicho and Karin, sitting on the tree. K, I, S, S, I, N, G…"

Hitsugaya shook his head at the memories with a sigh. '_How fast these six years has passed_.'

He admired the sunrise that was in its full glory and couldn't help but feel a bittersweet mixture of emotions. He remembered the incident that unexpectedly shook him five years ago, right after a tired Soul Society had finally incarcerated that traitor. Ichigo and Kurosaki Isshin had come home to a hysterical Yuzu, crying over the disappearance of Karin. When they came home, she had been missing for over a month. When the news hit Hitsugaya, all he felt was shock and a numbness.

There was still no sign of Karin five years later.

It was only by the third beep from his pager that Hitsugaya registered the sound and significance of it all. It was what they were sent down to area 3600 for. '_The first hollow in a month!_'

He quickly flipped open the soul pager and check the hollow's location.

_**Karakura Public Stadium. 100m. 6.45am. +-3mins.**_

'_I'm the one nearest to that hollow._' As if on cue, the sound of the hollow's wail was heard, spurning Hitsugaya into action. Adrenaline pumped hard in his veins as he shunpo to the public stadium in excessive speed. His legs loved the workout he was giving, his mind poising his body ready for battle. After the Winter War, there was little need for a fukutaicho, let alone a taicho to fight in combat; instead seatless members from divisions were sufficient in tackling any opponents.

Hitsugaya was about to make a leap from the top of the street light to the stadium's roof when he felt it. Subtle with precise control yet undeniable, a reiatsu. However, the amount of reiatsu was not strong enough to be identified but it was unmistakably shinigami. Confusion overcame Hitsugaya and he quickly shunpoed to the roof when he saw the hollow. Hitsugaya stopped at his tracks. There was something weird about how the menacingly large hollow looked, as it stood floating serenely mid-air, but its body was frozen in a rigid stance. Then the hollow started swaying its arms in helplessness before it bursted into flames. It screeched in pain before disintegrating and dissolving into the air.

'_What the…?_'

Instinctively, his hand reached for his zanpakuto as he jumped down and scanned the stadium's perimeters. There were no traces of Ichigo, Rukia, Matsumoto or anyone at all. The repulsive smell of burnt rotting flesh overpowered his senses, dulling his sensitivity to detect any reiatsu. '_Did I really felt that reiatsu? But…_'

Half the stadium was badly damaged. There were the hollow's claw marks digging a third of the running track up and some of the stadium's corner walls were in ruins. It ended right in front of where Hitsugaya stood with tell-tale burn marks of the hollow's outline on the scorched patch of dead grass. The sheer violence that took placed chilled Hitsugaya.

"Taicho!"

Hitsugaya turned to see Matsumoto, Ichigo and Rukia running towards him. As they ran, the look of alarm spread on their faces as they took in the situation.

"Taicho." Matsumoto was staring at the patch of burnt grass, as was Rukia and Ichigo. "What happened?"

"I have no idea."

.

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><p><strong>Area 3600<strong>: Soul Society's formal code for Karakura Town

**ps** Chapter two was supposed to be posted on 6 August 2011 but college has a way of getting in the way. I am so sorry and will be updating with chapter two soon!


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